Not Me! Monday

No freakin' way! This is my 100th post! Can I get Emeril Lagasse to come cook for me like he did for Jon & Kate Plus 8's 100th episode? Better yet, can I get my hubby to come home and cook for me instead of working? Okay, enough chit-chat. It's Not Me! Monday, the day of the week where I get to DENY all my shameful deeds. Maybe I'm not the worst mommy in the world, but sometimes I think I'm in the running! Just kidding. I didn't DO any of these things!

I did not discover Quinn playing in the toilet this week, swishing around a baggie filled with trial sizes of diaper cream and hand sanitizer. Not only do I ALWAYS keep a close eye on my dear child, but if I did catch him at something like that, I wouldn't freak out. I would calmly explain that we don't play in the toilet.

I did not have to discreetly dispose of our frog. This was not the third living creature that has traveled from the acquarium to the toilet. I have not completely given up any hope of pretty semi-tropical fish, nor do I think we're going to have to continue to restock the giant acquarium with more starter fish.

I am not newly obsessed with the show "Dance Your Ass Off." I don't compare myself with them and think that I am such a better booty dancer than any of those black girls.

I did not go to the grocery store THREE times in THREE days. That is a total waste of my precious time and completely unnecessary, since I'm a totally put-together mom who never forgets items and always plans ahead for meals.

I am not barely getting in my Not Me! Monday post less than an hour before midnight. I am so well organized that I do have to squeeze "important" things like blogging into my "I'm so freakin' tired my eyes are scratchy and I can barely hold my head up" nighttime schedule.

Well, those are the things I did NOT do this week. Can't wait to see what next week brings! Love, Us.