Not Me! Monday

For some reason, I never remember it's Monday until I read MckMama's Not Me Monday blog carnival. For more hilarious stories of things we would NEVER do, not in a million years, check it out and read her and others' blogs.

I did not literally yell/curse at my child today when he specifically disobeyed me and tried to crawl through my legs while I was draining grease from ground beef in a heavy, 8-qt. sauce pot. I did not burn my arm so bad that I yelled "Dammit Quinn! I told you not to come near me when I've got hot food in my hands!!" (There goes the Mother of the Year award I was up for.)

I do not wet my pants at least twice a day, every time I sneeze. It is not so common that recently, when I sneezed and didn't wet myself, I exclaimed proudly about that fact to Jalal.

I did not have to reorganize the refrigerator to fit in a giant orange jug for collecting 24 hours' worth of my pee before my doctor's appointment tomorrow. This is not the third time I've had to do this (once with Quinn and once already with Maddie), and I did not practically roll my eyes at the lab tech who tried to kindly explain the whole procedure to me AGAIN (same girl as the last time; guess she sees a lot of pee jugs).

I did not spend 10 precious minutes with a cranky toddler at the grocery store trying to pick out snack size candy for a church harvest festival. I did not have to weigh the merits of the sale versus the coupon, all the while trying to figure out if "peanut-free candy" meant candy with no nuts in it or candy that was not processed in a facility containing peanuts.

I did not have to laugh hysterically today when Quinn (who just learned "Red stop/Green go!") said "two green gos" at a stoplight and it sounded just like "2 Gringos." I did not laugh even harder when Quinn noticed me laughing and said, "Mama, I funny."

I did not frantically spread three sheets of newspaper around Quinn's chair for our first attempt at eating spaghetti at our new dining room table. I also did not contemplate trying to force a bib on him for the first time in months. I did not settle for tucking a paper towel into his shirt collar.

On a different note: Jalal did not tell Quinn he couldn't have chocolate milk until he finished his breakfast the other day. He did not say, "Daddy gets to drink chocolate milk because he ate his breakfast," all the while knowing that the chocolate milk WAS his breakfast!

I hope there's nothing in your recent past that you wouldn't admit to on the Internet, forgetting that someday a future employer is going to discover this and decide he/she does not want to hire someone who publicly discusses wetting her pants! Love, Us.

The Purple Leaves of Autumn

The weather has been so beautiful here lately that we are anxiously awaiting a chance to go up to Asheville and see the fall foliage. It's been a tradition since we moved here (if you count one time so far as tradition). This year, we are also going to go apple picking. And tomorrow is the day!! Yay! Jalal has the day off, so off we go! The one kink in our plan is that, as of last week, the section of the Blue Ridge Parkway we like to take was closed because of some landslide or something (probably not that dramatic). Ah well. I was brushing Quinn's teeth tonight and trying to get him psyched about the trip. I said we were going to see leaves of all different colors, green, red, orange, yellow ... Quinn said "purple?" Yes, Quinn, maybe even purple leaves. Quinn says, "Purple leaves. And yellow flowers." Sure, kiddo. Whatever.

In other news, we finally broke down and bought a dining room table and chairs. We already have a very nice dining room table, but we've never had chairs, so the table basically holds all kinds of kitchenware and foodstuffs. We found a great set at a discount/unfinished furniture store here, retail $800, our price only $280!! It was brand new and matches our other furniture. I'm really hoping that this will help us get Quinn's mealtime behavior under control. I think it will be good for all of us to eat at the table like a family, without the TV on. We'll see how things go.

Maddie is kicking even more lately. I love that feeling! It seems like Maddie has just as much strength as her big brother. Well, I have to finish an edit tonight before I try to take most of a day off tomorrow. Happy Fall everyone! Love, Us.

Not Me Monday

Join me and MckMama and her many followers as we proudly deny doing anything that would embarrass us or our families.

This week, I did not stand on a playground in the rain when it was 50 degrees outside so Quinn could play for 20 minutes. I know better than to think that 20 minutes on a playground is ever enough for him, and I would rather head straight home than fight him to get him back in the car when I had had enough of cold and rain.

I did not have to give in to my husband and wear his fleece sweatshirt when it got cold. I am totally prepared to be pregnant in the fall (WINTER!) after literally planning it this way to avoid another pregnant August. I did not then complain about the mall being insufferably hot and not being able to take off the sweatshirt because my tank underneath came nowhere CLOSE to covering the belly band of my jeans.

I did not skip church on the day I was supposed to work the nursery because I had a terrible sore throat. I take care of myself and was in no way concerned about symptoms that were starting to point to swine flu, because I AM NOT PARANOID!

I did not almost support my husband in his desire to buy a baby onesie as a gift for a coworker that said "I love my Daddy [in small letters] even if he is an @$$hole" from Spencer's. I have more class than that!!

I did not have to expose most of Greenville to a screeching, red-faced, grunting child shrieking "BOBBY DIAPER MICKEY MOUSE" (translation: I'm trying to poop in my Mickey Mouse diaper") for about three days in a row this weekend. This did not include Kmart (because I don't shop at Kmart), two restaurants, the mall, Costco, and anywhere else you could imagine. My kid has NO trouble going to the bathroom.

I did not tell my 2-year-old "Fine, whatever" at least 6 times in the past week. I'm a responsible parent who doesn't talk to her child like that.

I did not encourage my sister and brother-in-law to have "good sex" on their 1st anniversary cruise in front of the child who had just finished repeating every other word I said.

There you go. As you can tell, I had a GREAT week being a responsible, classy parent and wife. Love, Us.

Okay, We'll Try It

Yuck. I have a bad sore throat and just don't feel well. As some of you may know, I have a tendency toward the dramatic, so I'm trying to play this down a bit. After reading all these horror stories about pregnant women getting the swine flu (one I read yesterday, the mom had to be put in a coma for a couple months after giving birth!), I keep reminding myself that you can just get a cold or something, too, these days. Don't worry, though. Jalal is being a little extra protective to compensate. I've gotten my seasonal flu shot and will get the H1N1 shot when it is ready, too.

Quinn is not helping. I mean, he's being okay, but driving his choo-choo train along my arms and over my head is not so restful. Neither is running his hands through my hair (only soothing until he gets stuck). But he has been really adorable lately sometimes. His new phrase is "Okay, we'll try it." I like the attitude there. It just makes him sound so mature and grown-up. And he's really sweet about asking "Mama otay?" if he thinks I'm hurt or something. His desperate need for lots of running around seems to be increasing if that's at all possible. I try to get him out and let him run around and play every day, but the weather lately hasn't been cooperating. On the one hand, the temp has dropped and it is WONDERFUL to be in the 50s or 60s. On the other hand, it is raining quite often, and there is only so much mall and Monkey Joe's I can take before I'm praying for summer again (gasp! Did I say that?). Anyway, it's tough to get him out when I don't feel good, but it's better than repeatedly reminding him we DON'T JUMP ON THE COUCH!! Well, I am going to try to get some rest. I may call in reinforcements later. You know, Nemo and Monsters, Inc. Maybe Bolt if things get bad.
Love, Us.

I Get It!

Here's how my morning is going:

Quinn: [Kicks soccer ball across the room] Where's soccer ball?

Me: I don't know. Where is it?

Quinn: There. Over there. I get it!

Me: Okay, you get it.

Repeat. And again. Sometimes it changes slightly. Occasionally when I say "Where is it?," he says "It's hiding." But the gist of the game has remained the same for quite a while now.

Could I Possibly Be Doing Something Right?

It seems impossible, but our gradual weaning of parental presence at bedtime might have been successful. For three nights now, Quinn has not cried or gotten up after we closed the door at night. This is huge! It's taken us months to get to this point. Last night was not really a success story, however. Quinn did not nap yesterday, unless you count falling asleep in the car on the way to lunch. The decision to wake him up might have been a mistake. He started acting up pretty bad later in the evening, but we had agreed to go to a small group meeting with some people from our church at seven. So I finally decided to pop a couple Tylenol, force him into his socks and shoes, and throw him in the car with his blanket. After 20 minutes of "NO," he finally settled down and played with the other kids there. However, it was a pretty late night, and we didn't get out of there until almost 10 p.m. Of course, despite his rambunctious behavior at the Beattys' house, he passed out almost as soon as we got in the car.

It was no problem to get him changed and into bed without waking him. After a trip back downstairs to collect his "arsenal" of bed buddies, I thought the night was over. I was so wrong. An hour and a half later, Quinn wakes up screaming. I expected to find him banging on the door, or at least sitting up in bed. Instead, he was still lying down under the covers, with his eyes closed. Oh, and screaming. Did I mention that? Though I hadn't seen one before, I just knew this was a night terror. I've read about them because whenever I mention that he has been waking up crying at night, they say that it might be night terrors. Let me just say that you can wonder if you've experienced a night terror until you do, and then you know for a fact that that's what it is. I had read not to wake up a child having a night terror, so I just sat next to him, shushed him, and tried to comfort him quietly. He was tossing and turning, crying, and screaming "No" over and over. Break my heart! I managed to hold it together until he started screaming "Mama! Mama!" I started crying and talking to him, telling him I was there, everything was okay. Finally I ran downstairs and searched "night terrors" on the Internet. It said absolutely not to wake them, to not even talk to them or touch them. Just stay with them and make sure they don't hurt themselves. The article I read said they can take up to a half an hour to end, and Quinn's was pretty close to that. Finally, he settled down to a whimper and then fell back into a deep sleep. I was heart-broken listening to that and not being able to help. Evidently they are more common when kids are sleep-deprived, so I'm guessing the lack of nap combined with staying up late contributed. Hopefully that won't happen again. I don't know if I can take it! Well, it's late, and you've heard our drama for the past day or so. Let me just leave you with the news that Maddie is kicking up a storm and making me so happy every time I feel her. Can't wait to see her in next week's ultrasound. Love, Us.

Hello Fall!

The weather is absolutely gorgeous here! I am loving the sunshine with the cool wind. Wish it were like this all summer, too. So it's October, right? That means great things for me: Halloween, Thanksgiving, then Christmas!! My favorite time of year. The only real downside to today is that I had to pay rent. Oh well, at least we have a place to live for another month. ; )

So now here comes the pregnancy hunger. After getting through the first 19 weeks and only gaining a pound (yay!), now I want to eat EVERYTHING! Leftover pizza goes with leftover mashed potatoes, right? Stupid Costco had a stupid coupon for a stupid pumpkin pie, too. The day before yesterday, I ate a reasonable size bowl of tomato soup, accompanied by a HUGE slab of bread slathered in butter. I kept reading the nutrition facts on the butter and assuring myself it was pretty healthy because it was Smart Balance. Hah! I must be stopped. Well, gotta go. Haven't eaten any pumpkin pie yet today! Love, Us.